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Jun 10, 2018

How to be for someone you’re against

How to be for someone you’re against

Passage: Proverbs 10:8

Speaker: Patrick Lafferty

Series: Proverbs, Searching for Wisdom

Of all the losses we face in this life, the greatest is arguably our relationships. That they are so astonishing in how they form, and so deep in how they nourish, is why it is so tragic when they are broken apart. Where does wisdom figure into either pre-empting what threatens a relationship or averting its dissolution? How in the Lord can we be for someone we find ourselves against?

Order of Worship

Call To Worship: Based on Psalm 91:2, Romans 10:9, 13
Old Testament Reading: Eccl. 4:9-12
New Testament Reading: Matthew 5:43-48
Sermon Title: How to be for someone you’re against
Central Text: various passages
Benediction: 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

06.10.18 Sermon Slides

Readings & Scripture

Call To Worship: Based on Psalm 91:2, Romans 10:9, 13
LEADER: Let us worship God.

ALL: “He is our refuge and our fortress,
our God, in whom we trust.”

LEADER: Let us confess with our mouths, “Jesus is Lord,”
and believe in our hearts that God raised him from the dead.

ALL: “Everyone who call on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

LEADER: Let us call upon our true God, believing him in our hearts,
confessing him with our mouths, worshipping him in spirit
and in truth.

Old Testament Reading: Eccl. 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

New Testament Reading: Matthew 5:43-48
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Central Text: various passages in Proverbs
10:18 The one who conceals hatred has lying lips,
and whoever utters slander is a fool.

11:12 Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense,
but a man of understanding remains silent.
13 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets,
but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

17:9 Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

24:17 Do not rejoice when your enemy falls,
and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles,
18 lest the LORD see it and be displeased,
and turn away his anger from him.

24:28 Be not a witness against your neighbor without cause,
and do not deceive with your lips.
29 Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me;
I will pay the man back for what he has done.”

25:7b What your eyes have seen
8 do not hastily bring into court,
for what will you do in the end,
when your neighbor puts you to shame?
9 Argue your case with your neighbor himself,
and do not reveal another’s secret,
10 lest he who hears you bring shame upon you,
and your ill repute have no end.

25:21 If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat,
and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink,
22 for you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the LORD will reward you.

27:5 Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Benediction: 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
LEADER: 23 Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

Post-Service Text: Proverbs 17:9
Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

Related Scriptures:

  • Eccl 4:9-12
  • Matthew 5:21-26, 38-39, 43-48
  • Luke 7:41-50
  • John 17:20-26
  • Col 3:12-15

Discussion Questions & Applications:

  1. How do relationships get broken? What does it take? Why can the breaking happen so easily?
  2. What do all the impulses these Proverbs are speaking against have in common? Why are they our “impulses”--our first and unreflective responses? Why do we go there?
  3. How are forgiveness and reconciliation related? How is each distinct? How does the Gospel of Jesus give guidance for each?


Forgiveness means having the technical right to exact some penalty but electing not to pursue it. This breaks the cycle of retribution with unearned, undeserved mercy….It is crucial to note that forgiveness doesn’t preclude accountability: It’s possible (and probably preferable) someone can both make restitution for their wrong and be forgiven.
- Elizabeth Bruenig

My faith in Jesus has enabled me to forgive those who have hurt and scarred me. It has enabled me to pray for my enemies rather than curse them. And it has enabled me not just to tolerate them but truly to love them.
- Kim Phuc Phan Thi


Related Media:

InView Media Album 06.10.18